What Is The “I Don’t! Project”?
It is an empowering program that aims to help people who want to give up a habit, behavior or addiction.
How Do You Help?
“I don’t!” helps you understand what is happening inside your mind and how that contributes to your habits and behaviors. It then provides a method [link] for you to work through on your own. The main element “I don’t!” focuses on is helping you to create new pathways in your brain, changing the narrative of your thoughts from negative to positive.
Will Somebody Walk Me Through This? Is This Counseling?
The “I don’t!” project is a self-guided, step-by-step process anyone can go through on their own. While the method is straightforward, putting into practice all of the elements is where YOU take ownership and control of your thoughts, choices and actions.
Where Can I Find The Method?
Under the Method tab.
How Much Does The “I Don’t” Self-Guided Method Cost?
Nothing. Not a cent. It’s free. There’s no catch. No monthly subscription hidden anywhere. This is a completely free project, started by an experienced, professional, retired addiction counselor, who wants to help anyone take control of their life through positive change.
What’s The Goal For “I Don’t!”?
The goal is to help anyone who is struggling with a behavior, habit or addiction to quit. We believe everyone has the power to change their life.
Who Is Behind The “I Don’t! Project”?
The method was developed by Alfred Davis, a seasoned counselor who has spent his career helping people with addictions and problematic behaviors. “I don’t!” is his legacy project. After helping countless people to improve their life by taking control and changing behaviors that don’t work for them, he wants to share his success with the world.
Who Runs The “I Don’t! Project”?
A group of people who have personally benefited from the method, and, along with its creator, Alf Davis, want to share it with everyone who wants to make a positive change in their life.
Are There Any Professionally Trained Counselors, Or Therapists In Your Group?
Yes, the method’s author is actively involved in the “I don’t!” Project and we constantly collaborate with other counsellors, researchers, scientists and therapists when creating our content.
What Is A Mental Agreement?
The words that we agree with in our minds can influence our behaviors. These words are called “mental agreements.” For example, “I don’t drink on weekdays” is a mental agreement I make with myself, that I’m committed to following and that is an automatic response if someone asks if I’d like a drink during the week.
A mental agreement is a stronger form of belief. The words “never” and “always” tend to be connected to a mental agreement.
When we believe strongly about something, the actions relating to the belief tend to be more consistent over time.
Are All Mental Agreements Negative?
Mental agreements can be either positive or negative. An example of a positive mental agreement would be, “I agree with myself that I will be faithful to my wife.” The marriage vow is an illustration.
A negative mental agreement would be, “I agree with myself that I will never forgive that person.” Mental agreements have a fixed and rigid quality to them. You can see the force and energy that is involved in a mental agreement.
The “words” involved in mental agreements play an important role in our lives.
Often, we are not aware that these mental agreements are present. They can just exist in our consciousness and shape our behavior without us knowing that they are there.
Why Do We Focus So Much On The Words And Language We Use?
We are what we believe! The words that we believe directly affect our actions. For example, if I believe that exercise will help me maintain a healthy heart, then I will be more likely to go for walks and work out.
Many beliefs are superficial and consequently, the actions related to them fluctuate. For example, I think sugar is bad for me, but I don’t really know for sure, so I eat sugar-filled desserts from time to time. I am not committed to my belief about sugar, so my actions can vary from one day to the next.
Why Can’t I Stop What I Like To Do?
When I believe I like something, my will can more easily align with that belief.
For example, I say to myself that I like to play golf. I have had experiences where it pleases me to hit a ball long and straight. Therefore, it is more likely that I will join the guys on Thursday morning and play a round of golf with them. My behavior is influenced by my “like”.
People who smoke cigarettes have been heard to say that they want to quit smoking, but the reality is that they “like” to smoke. Often the like is stronger than the dislike, so they continue to smoke.
Are Cravings Stronger Than Likes?
A craving is defined as a “powerful desire for something.” In the mind, the thought is that I really, really want this thing that I desire. The brain is signalling that “I want this thing now.” The action then flows from the belief, so that the desired reward can be received.
How Do Cravings Become Addictions?
When a craving grows and when that craving satisfies a particular need, as in relieving pain or producing pleasure, the pattern can become compulsive and turn into an addiction. We are what we believe. So, the belief is now supported by the addictive mental agreement. Example: “I agree with myself that I need to partake in my addiction now.”
At the very beginning of any addiction is the mental agreement that I need to do something and that it is okay to do it.
How Does “I Don’t!” Work In My Mind?
The power of “I don’t” stems from the fact that the brain can only process one thought at a time. If I accept the mental agreement that “I don’t smoke/drink/eat sugar etc.” then I am agreeing with myself in a powerful way to not do the action.
Since “I don’t” is a mental agreement, it can forcefully push out the addictive thought that I need to do something, and now the problem thinking has less ability to control the mind.
The key is to be aware of and take control of the specific thought at the very first moment that the thought/desire enters the mind, and then replace it with an “I don’t.” statement.
What do you mean by “I Don’t” Is a 100% Commitment, Not a Half-hearted Statement!”?
When I agree with myself that “I don’t,” there is much less wiggle room for the problem thinking to be present.
Why Do I Need To Keep Repeating “I Don’t!”?
The principle of the brain is “Use it or lose it.” The words that you use expand and create neuronal connections that are physically in the brain. The more you use a word or story, the more powerful it becomes in your brain.
The more often you repeat your “I don’t” story, the stronger it becomes.